How To Get What You Really Want Resources

    01.03.18 |

    Ridge Staff Q&A

    What does it mean for you to take up your cross and follow Jesus? (Matthew 16:24-28)


    Life is chalked full of moments, big and small, where we have uncomfortable choices to make. In my life, that typically looks like deciding between my own comfort and what is best for another person. When Jesus carried the cross, he took on the weight of others burdens and he carried that weight at an unimaginable cost to himself. To take up my cross and follow Jesus means to weather the uncomfortable situations associated with placing the needs of another over my own wants.

    John Larsen, Ridge Student Community Director



    WEEK 1
    DAY 1 | DAY 2 | DAY 3 | DAY 4 | DAY 5  

    WEEK 2
    DAY 1 | DAY 2 | DAY 3 | DAY 4 | DAY 5   

    WEEK 3
    DAY 1 | DAY 2 | DAY 3 | DAY 4 | DAY 5   

    WEEK 4
    DAY 1 | DAY 2 | DAY 3 | DAY 4 | DAY 5   



    Week 1:
    We all have wants. Life can feel like a constant pursuit of those wants. We want to do what we want to do. We want constant pleasure. And we want what we want now. But actually getting what we want can be tricky . . . and even dangerous. It usually leaves us wanting more. If what we want leads to a cycle of wanting more and more, maybe we want the wrong things.

     So, what do you want?


    1. If someone were to ask you, “What do you want?” what comes to mind?
    2. Talk about a time when you had a seemingly innocent want give birth to a sin, habit, or regret.
    3. Have you ever pursued something you wanted that conflicted with something you valued?
    4. What do you really want? What do you value? Which is most important to you?

    Lurking in the shadows of what we want is what we value. You’ll never get what you really want until you discover what you really value. Jesus challenged all of our assumptions about what is valuable and what is not. He pointed us toward a different kind of wanting. If you follow him, you’ll pursue what is of greatest value. 

    You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:2b–3


    Week 2:
    We’ll never get what we really want until we discover what is most valuable. But choosing what’s valuable doesn’t come naturally. We’ve all had the experience of getting what we naturally want, only to discover it’s not what is most valuable—it’s not what we ultimately want. But how do we avoid being deceived by our short-term desires?


    1. Read Romans 7:15–19 aloud as a group. Growing up, how was the internal battle between right and wrong explained to you? What terms did your parents use to describe that internal conflict?
    2. What are some reasons it’s difficult for us to prioritize what we really want ahead of our immediate desires?
    3. Read James 1:14-15 aloud as a group. Have you ever had a dream, relationship, or opportunity die because you were dragged away by something you wanted? What was the result?
    4. What we naturally want is rarely what we ultimately want. How can you stop letting what you naturally want drag you away from what you ultimately want?

    Identify some steps you want to take this week to seek what you ultimately want.

    Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. James 1:15–16


    Week 3:
    What do you want? What do you really want? We’ll never get what we really want until we discover what is most valuable. And what we naturally want is often in conflict with what we ultimately value. So, in order to figure out what you really want, you have to figure out what you value.


    1. When you think about what you want said at your funeral by the people you love and respect the most, what themes surface?
    2. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey wrote, “If you carefully consider what you wanted to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success.” Based on this observation, what is success for you?
    3. Read Galatians 5:22-23. Which of these virtues parallels or reflects what you will want people to say about you at your funeral?
    4. Which of the fruits of the Spirit do you worry might interfere with your personal and professional goals? Is there an actual conflict?
    5. This about this statement: “What you really want and what God really wants for you may be closer than you imagine.” If this is true, what are the implications?

    This about these questions:

    • Is there a conflict between what you actually value and what you are currently pursuing?
    • Is there a conflict between your values and your behavior?

    Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. Galatians 5:25–26

    How to Download the Bible App:

    1. Download YouVersion app on phone/tablet.
    • For iPhone users:
      • Open App Store and search “youversion”.
    • For Android users:
      • Open Google Play and search “youversion”.
    1. Open app.
    2. Select the “Plans” tab at the bottom of the screen.
    3. Select the magnifying glass at the top right of the screen.
    4. Type in the name of the reading plan you are starting (i.e “Finding Your Way Back to God”).
    5. Once you have selected your plan select “Start Plan”.
    6. Keep up on it everyday! You’re going to do great!


    Week 4:
    What you naturally want is often in conflict with what you ultimately value. But your heavenly Father knows what you need. He wants for you what you really want. So, how do you put aside those natural wants and pursue what you ultimately value?


    1. The world around us often distracts us from what really matters, and our culture is fascinated with upgrades and experiences. What are some ways your quest for upgrades or experiences has distracted you from what you’ve determined really matters?
    2. Do you think your parents’ generation had an easier time focusing on what they valued verses what they merely wanted? How did this play out in your family of origin?
    3. Do you think your parents’ generation had an easier time focusing on what they valued verses what they merely wanted? How did this play out in your family of origin?
    4. Read Romans 12:1–2. Does the idea that God’s will can be characterized as “good, pleasing, and perfect” strike you as odd? Why or why not?
    5. Has there ever been a time when you would have characterized God’s will as threatening, unfulfilling, and insensitive to the way you are wired? If so, what changed your mind about God?

    This world won’t provide you with what you really want. It will distract you from what really matters. It will rob you of what you value. What you were created for is connected to who you were created by. The way to get what you really want is to surrender to your heavenly Father and renew your mind.

    By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. Hebrews 11:24-26




    Each plan is categorized by stages in Engagement Pathway.

    Finding Your Way Back To God (5 Days, Searching)
    Are you looking for more out of life? Wanting more is really a longing to return to God—wherever your relationship with God is now. We all experience mile markers—or awakenings—as we find our way back to God. Journey through each of these awakenings and close the distance between where you are now and where you want to be. We want to find God, he wants even more to be found.

    New Thru 30 (30 Days, Starting/Striving)
    The New Thru 30 reading plan from Elevation Church takes you through the entire New Testament in 30 days. This plan will stretch your mind, heart, and will to continue with an intense pace of Bible reading over the course of 30 days.

    21 Day Fast (21 Days, Striving/Surrendering)
    Start your new year with a focus on the spiritual discipline of fasting. This plan includes several passages about fasting and others that encourage reflection and closeness to God. For 21 days, you'll get a daily Bible reading, a brief devotional, reflection questions, and a prayer focus. For more content, check out 

    Pouring into Others When You Feel Empty (7 Days, Striving/Surrendering)
    Do you feel tired and worn out but still desire to serve others? This reading plan will show you biblical principles and practical tips on how you can pour into others even when you feel like you don’t have much to give.



    Finding Your Way Back to God: Five Awakenings to Your New Life (By Dave and Jon Ferguson)
    “God, if you’re real, make yourself real to me.”
    Each of us spends our lives on a journey toward God. Yet often our most deeply felt longings—for meaning, for love, for significance—end up leading us away from, instead of toward, our Creator and the person he made us to be. Finding Your Way Back to God shows you how to understand and listen to your longings in a whole new way.

     Available in the Next Steps room at the Greenfield campus for $10.




    Know Your Value of Values
    We all value something. What do you value? 

    Spiritual Warfare is Real
    If you are a follower of God, you have an enemy who is invisible. Not only is this enemy invisible, this enemy is evil. If you have an enemy who is not only invisible but evil, you are not going to be able to placate this enemy. So, what are you going to do about it?

    What Good Is Fasting?
    How do you fast? And what’s the point of fasting in the first place?


    When we follow what we want, we are left feeling empty.

    You Are A New Creation
    Don’t listen to the lies, listen to the truth

    Do You Want What God Wants?
    We can live for our will or God’s will, or we could have our passions so transformed that we need not choose between the two.